The Young Visiters, or Mr. Salteena's Plan by
Daisy Ashford
My rating:
4 of 5 stars
Unconsciously hilarious story by a 9-year-old girl who has some very interesting (and in parts surprisingly sophisticated) ideas about how adults live, interspersed with moments of intense naiveté.
(view spoiler)[Mr Salteena, an "elderly man of 42," has a largely unexplained 17-year-old female house guest named Ethel, with whom, it eventually turns out, he is in love. He makes the mistake of introducing her to his friend Bernard, and she becomes Bernard's house guest; they then take to living in London in a hotel, in adjoining rooms, so they can enjoy the pleasures of the city.
Dialog with unconscious subtext ensues:
"I shall be quite lost in that huge bed she added to hide her embarrassment. Yes I expect you will said Bernard."
She and Bernard eventually get married, and return from a six-week honeymoon with a "son and hair".
Meanwhile, Mr Salteena, with a letter of recommendation from Bernard, goes to the Crystal Palace, where a number of noblemen have "compartments". He pays an earl who knew Bernard because they were at Cambridge together 45 pounds to teach him how to appear to be a gentleman (he's the son of a wealthy butcher), introduce him around in society, and get him a job galloping after the Prince of Wales' carriage in knee breeches.
He eventually marries a member of the royal household, and they have 10 children, but he still pines after Ethel and is never really happy. (hide spoiler)]It deserves its status as a classic gem. Honestly, I've read books by adults that made less sense and weren't as well plotted, but the naive moments give it the comedy that sets it apart. It reads as if young Daisy had got hold of a few contemporary adult novels and absorbed as much as her nine-year-old mind was able to of the style and approach, then reproduced them with a slight funhouse-mirror twist.
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