Books Not Taken: The Wolf Song

Another in my occasional series on books that, based on the blurb on Netgalley, I chose not to pick up. There are plenty of these, of course, but usually I make my decision based on personal taste. The books I highlight in this series have significant problems in their blurbs, and I write these posts in the hope that they'll help authors who want to avoid driving people away with avoidable errors. Here's the blurb on Netgalley for The Wolf Song by "Caleb the Writer" (itself not a byline that inspires confidence, and nor does the amateurish cover or the fact that there's no blurb at all on Goodreads at time of writing):

A grand fantasy tale unlike any other. In a world that mirrors our own, violence and death are a way of life. Petty Lords fight for insignificant tracks of land, while pirates rule the waves and brigands stalk the night. Meanwhile, The Holy Aeternian Empire (or HAE), which reigns over the Kontinent of Gotheca (Götheßa), does nothing to protect its subjects as they fall into chaos and ruin. In the midst of all of this, a young boy would be born with red eyes. Unknown to him, he would soon bring the world to its knees. This is the legend of Wolfgang von Coburg- The Crimson Wolf. The Wolf Song is the first novel in the Blood of The Wolf King series. BOTW focused on realistic military engagements and historically accurate medieval martial arts, weapons, armor, and politics. Set in a fictional world that mirrors ours, follow our protagonists as they navigate the complex world of medieval war and politics. This is the beginning of a great and epic journey that will see the rise of great men at great costs.

Let's break down the problems here. 1. Almost without exception, anything that claims to be "unlike any other" isn't. If it truly is, you won't need to make the claim. Also, a violent setting with an empire that doesn't protect its subjects against chaos? A fated strongman? I'm not seeing anything fresh here. 2. "Tracks of land" should be "tracts of land". 3. Why "The Holy" rather than "the Holy"? And why give us the abbreviation in the blurb when it's not used again? Leave it for the book. 4. "Kontinent"? 5. Why would "Götheßa," with the German double S, be transliterated with a C? 6. Why the switch from present tense to "would be"? 7. Why would you abbreviate "Blood of the Wolf King" as "BOTW" rather than "BOTWK"? 8. Why "focused" rather than "focuses"? Everything else is present tense (apart from the "woulds"). 9. A blurb that mentions "realistic military engagements and historically accurate medieval martial arts, weapons, armor, and politics" suggests to me that I will be extensively hit with the research bat at the expense of plot and character development. 10. The repetition of the fact that the world mirrors ours (in which case, why not write a historical novel or historical fantasy?) becomes a dangling modifier. "Set in..." refers to the book, but "follow" is addressed to the reader. Also, the entire sentence is redundant, merely repeating points already made. 11. Self-praising blurbs ("grand," "great") always raise red flags for me. Let me decide on my own adjectives. 12. "Great men" suggests to me that there aren't any great women in this book. I find women, on the whole, more interesting to read about than men; at minimum, I like to see some fully developed female characters. I also would rather read about ordinary people than Special Hinges of History. That's back to my taste, though. An author acquaintance of mine once compared a blurb to a job interview, and added, "Dress nicely." This blurb has mustard stains on its T-shirt, and suggests that the book itself will have significant issues. Even if I liked books full of violence (I don't), I wouldn't be picking this one up.

Books Not Taken: In the Shadow of the Throne

Third in my occasional series about books that I decided against reviewing based on issues with the blurb. In the Shadow of the Throne, by Kate Sheridan and Gaia Cardinali. Blurb (my emphasis):

When his younger siblings and parents become too much to bear while on vacation, Jordan tries to get some space. But instead of wandering around the local museum, Jason finds himself dropped into a fantasy world where he can finally have fun! Except in this Elven Kingdom, there's a sinister secret kept hidden by the queen that'll thrust Jordan, the rebellious Prince Astel, and the brave knight Sir Griffith in the middle of a magical battle they never could have anticipated.

I could forgive the paragraph break in mid-sentence (after "dropped" - it's not as obvious in the formatting on this blog), and "in" instead of "into" in the last sentence, but if you can't keep your protagonist's name straight in the blurb, what other errors are you making?

Books Not Taken: Earthlings

The second in an occasional series about why I have chosen not to pick up certain Netgalley books for review. Blurb begins: "Peridot has lived a sheltered life, raised by an overprotective mother on a remote island, the ways of the world remain a mystery, until the arrival of a young boy Euan, and she finally learns the truth." That needs to be at least two sentences, and rearranged a bit. It's in the style I call "British breathless," a particular way of punctuating that shows very little understanding of where a comma belongs or what it does. Further dings against the book from my personal perspective are that it's a Chosen One story of a young girl with magick (with a "k"), able to use the traditional five elements, and it's a dystopian. The cliches come thick and fast. And then there's the fact that, among the "Advance Praise," I read this: "An Enid Blyton of the social media age" - THE HECKINGTON POST There doesn't appear to be any such publication, and the only three instances of the quoted text I can find in Google are on pages controlled by the author. Is he making up his own press?

Books Not Taken: Ember's Quest

I've decided to start an occasional series of posts about why I decide not to pick up certain books for review. There's nowhere on Netgalley (where I get most of my books) to give this kind of feedback - you can only give feedback on books you do choose to read - and it might be instructive for some authors, maybe even the ones whose books I don't choose. The Division: Ember's Quest, by Kevin M. Penelerick. "One man stands between the elemental forces seeking to destroy the world of The Division, but he lays sick and dying." First sentence of the blurb, and already the author has used "between" with only one object (it requires two), and "lays" when he means "lies". My experience is that a blurb with errors typically signals a book with multiple issues, not just of copy editing, but of storytelling, characterization, plot and other basics. I could be wrong, but when I've gone against these instincts in the past I've always regretted it. Oh, and when I check on Goodreads there's a comma splice in the author's bio.